As I am looking at the ring around my finger, here is the short answer: yes.

And now for one a little bit longer: Long-distance relationships – LDRs – often carry this certain stigma of being temporary. Something you do because of circumstances and nothing really long-term. The thought is that, while being apart might work for a while, the distance will eventually drive a wedge between you and won’t lead to anything lasting. And while this can be the case for a number of them, it doesn’t have to be this way. Because at the end of the day, it’s still a relationship – which means that if you work as a couple, the relationship will, too – even with the unique difficulties that come with it.

Trust in your foundations

If you’re reading this article, chances are that (a) you are in a LDR and (b) you already understand what it means to successfully be in one. At least that’s what I would assume if you’re thinking about marriage. You know what there needs to be a proper foundation of both communication and trust. Being physically apart from your partner means that especially these two things – which, to be fair, are very important for a short distance relationship – are simply amplified. Which, as I found, can oftentimes lead to much deeper conversations that you might have otherwise. Discussing hopes, fears, dreams, just everything more openly because you don’t have the distraction of everyday life to contend with.

But to get to the point – these are all skills that can be incredibly beneficial in the long run, if you think about what it would mean to navigate a marriage. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that communication that gets successfully cultivated in a LDR often sets the stage for a healthier, more open partnership once you’re finally together in the same space. Now, that’s of course incredibly subjective and very much dependant on you individually. But it’s definitely my experience!

Plan your future together

LDRs are all about planning for the future. I always felt like I needed this goal toward to, in both of my relationships rooted in distance. Because you’re not physically together, you’re both forced to envision what the future will look like and work towards those shared goals. Do you both want to move to the same place? Or one moving to the other? Is there a clear plan for when the distance will end? These questions are so important and having the answers helped me so tremendously through the times of being apart.

If you do succeed in a LDR, it’s because you have a clear shared vision of what the future looks like. But I think it’s not just about surviving the distance. Really, it’s about having a plan for the life you’ll build together. And isn’t that, at the end of the day, what’s also is necessary to decide to marry each other? Wanting the same in life?

Be patient

The natural progression of a LDR is to eventually live in the same place – which is where the test changes and adapts to something entirely else. Closing the distance is such an emotional experience – when months or often many years of anticipation finally come to fruition and, well, you’re finally there.

But it can bring challenges with it. Living with someone is a whole different dynamic from just visiting. You’ll be switching from individual households to shared responsibilities, personal space and daily routines, too. But here’s where the trust and communication comes into play again – it’ll make a transition so much easier. But it’s not fail-safe. Yes, there is the possibility that you suddenly realise that you can’t live like it. It’s how my first LDR ended. To be fair, we were just finishing school and in an entirely different headspace, but as soon as we moved together, everything fell apart within weeks.

But it’s always worth it to try working toward it. Because at the end of the day, the “long-distance” part of your relationship is just one of so many different facets of what the two of you are. It’s not the defining factor. It might be quite a tenacious and obvious one, but it’s just one flower in an entire bouquet. And if the love you have for one another is, well, meant to be – then yes, of course it can flourish into marriage or any other form of long-term commitment.

Remember, it’s the effort, the respect, aligned goals in life, happiness, trust – all the good things – that define what you have. Not where you physically are. And with the right foundation, long-distance love can absolutely stand the test of time.

[Picture by Zoriana Stakhniv – thank you!]