Ever heard of love languages – or just want a better understanding of what they actually mean off the paper they’ve been written on? Gary Chapman formed the concept of what’s still widely applicable nowadays in 1992 – and people haven’t stopped talking about it. And, well, rightfully so. Because it’s genuinely quite accurate, in my books!

There are five different ones and I’ll be looking at each of them a little more in-depth, but I also highly recommend getting the original book, if you want to go even further than that. As in, wanting an actual explanation instead of just a quick “ah, okay!” from a stranger on the internet. Here they are – and I will link to them once they are available:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Acts of service
• Receiving gifts

But for now, let’s look at the first one – affirmation in the form of words.

What does this language mean for you?

This love language in particular is mine – so I’m giggly to tell you about it. As the name already suggests, expressing your thoughts, feelings, love all through mediums of words is what makes me happy and – most importantly – loved the most. It doesn’t have to be purely spoken, though. It can be through texts, as well. Written down, said out loud – it doesn’t matter. Whatever you are telling me, it’s how you best reach my heart.

I simply thrive on being told lovely, intimate, or sometimes just simply mundane things. Encouragement and appreciation are two big things, of course, and it’s where I actively draw my energy from if I have to recharge my battery. If I had a bad day of simply feel a bit off, what I like to do is to ask for – how I call it – “verbal love”. It’s basically my way of saying “I need a hug”, just in the form of my love language!

Once, my partner wrote me a love letter and a poem – and I know them by heart. I unconsolably cried.

What do you do if your partner has it?

Well, talk to your partner! The important bit here is, though, that you keep on being your authentic self. From experience, some cliché phrases are lovely, but the more individually tailored something is, the more impact and effect it’ll have. Telling your partner they are beautiful is wonderful – but is more the equivalent of a pat on the back. Instead, try being a bit more nuanced. Explain why, pinpoint things, let your partner know that you are paying attention.

If you struggle with this, try writing things down instead. Not everyone is a wordsmith – and that’s absolutely fine. You don’t have to be one to show words of affirmation. Writing things down, however, can give you some space to reword things or give it a second or even third thought. It’s a bit better controllable than saying things out loud right away.

But it doesn’t only come down do love declarations, either. Checking in throughout the day, letting them know that you’re thinking about them and mentioning the small things is the best way to making us feel incredibly loved.

[Picture by Hush Naidoo Jade Photography – thank you!]