Love languages are a concept that have been created by Gary Chapman in the early 90s – but they are floating around today as well. Which usually means that the concept is holding up quite well. And, in my opinion, it really does! It’s an interesting concept where you and anyone else can usually be pinpointed to one of the five in how we give and receive love. Interestingly, they don’t have to be the same!

I’m going to have a look at all of them and you’ll be able to find the others below, once they are written:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Acts of service
• Receiving gifts

As this is the second article, I’ll go into spending and creating quality time.

What does this language mean for you?

It’s really what it says on the cover of the book; Quality time is all about appreciating the time that you spend with the one you, well, want to spend it with. This can be friends, family and you on your lonesome, too, by the way – love languages don’t necessarily only apply to your partner, though it’s where we find it most often. But I feel like especially this one, the acts of service and the receiving gift language is very easily translated to friendships in particular.

Right, sorry – drifted off there! As I said, if quality time is your love language, then you’ll feel most appreciated – and loved – if your partner (going with this for the sake of it) makes time and effort to be with you, as well as giving you absolutely undivided attention.

It doesn’t have to be for a long time either, necessarily. Sitting in the garden, balcony, couch and just having a cuppa together can already be incredibly impactful to fuel up on some energy. But of course things like date nights or in general dedicated time for each other are at the core of things. The importance is, that you’re actively engaged. If you don’t get these things, you might easily feel some sort of disconnection to your partner.

What do you do if your partner has it?

As mentioned above, being actively engaged is the key to all of this. If you have a partner who’s love language is quality time together, you want to make an effort of being with them, both (ideally) physically and mentally – which means without absolutely any distraction.

If you’re struggling whit it, remember that you can start small – or ask your partner to lead the way (though know that, if you initiate, it’ll also have a very positive effect). Snuggle a bit before leaving the bed or going to sleep. Eat your meals together without any phones or other media involved. It doesn’t have to be something full-blown. Go on a walk together. Start from there, if you’re unsure. After that, add to it. Maybe you could pick up a hobby together? Go on a hike? Make time for a date night each week.

Things can be as big or as small as you want them to be, because remember: it’s not about what you are doing, it’s about doing it together and without interruptions from the outside. As long as you are giving your partner your undivided attention, you are providing them with what they need to feel loved.

[Picture by Jamez Picard – thank you!]