There’s an oddness to the fact that we can categorise love, in a way. But I guess humans are just incredibly predictable at the end of the day. And isn’t this also kind of comforting, when you think about it? Anyway – I’ll be describing each of the five love languages that Gary Chapman came up with in 1992 in a bit more detail, but I highly encourage to read his book if you want a lot more information. But this will be nice and bite-sized.

Here are the five – you’ll be able to redirect to any of them once they are live.

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Acts of service
• Receiving gifts

This will be the third one – so we’re going to have a look at what physical touch entails!

What does this language mean for you?

If this is your love language, you’ll feel the most appreciated and, well, loved if you receive physical contact. I want to pre-phase this with the fact that all of this, of course, needs to come with consent – and the grade of it can vary between each relationship. Inappropriate touches are not and never covered under this.

As with the other languages, there is a huge gradience and even the smallest things can have a massive impact. The slightest touch can already mean a lot – think grazing your arm when your partner passes you. A hug, holding hands, a kiss on the forehead. Feeling loved for you doesn’t come down to words, it comes down to feeling something in the literal sense – in the tactile sensation that comes with it. And especially when these things occur just randomly throughout the day!

On the other hand, it’ll be easy for you to feel starved or lonely if you don’t get this physical need. Don’t feel bad for asking about it, if you need it. Let your partner know if you require a hug. There is nothing needy about it – none of the languages are – it’s simply you making sure that your needs are met.

What do you do if your partner has it?

If your partner’s love language is physical touch, the obvious answer to this is to, well, touch them. Make an effort to connect with them, if you can – be it by holding their hands, cuddling before leaving the bed in the morning, or giving them random kisses throughout the day.

It’s also good to know that they most likely enjoy public display of affections, too – so if you aren’t uncomfortable with it, showing your love outside your four walls will make a sure impact.

Depending on the framework of your relationship, sexual activities will most likely also play a huge role – and will naturally be a big part of this love language in particular. Try to fulfil these needs, even if it means scarifying spontaneity for scheduling it. There’s nothing unsexy about this, trust me. Having done this before, it can also mean a very exciting anticipation – especially if your love language is physical touch. But – and I say it again – all of this needs to be consensual. Make sure you talk, talk, talk about it!

[Picture by Michael Fenton – thank you!]