Did you ever just felt understood or better loved by some than by others? Well, it might just be that you complemented each other’s love language perfectly. It’s a concept that Gary Chapman came up with in the early 90s, one that is still incredibly relevant today. I suggest reading his bestselling book about it for an absolute in-depth explanation for all of them, but if you don’t have the time, well, boy do I have the right articles for you. You can find them linked below, if you want to read into any of them in particular for a nice bite-sized bit of information surrounding them:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Acts of service
• Receiving gifts

This’ll focus on the last of them: gifts.

What does this language mean for you?

This one is the easiest du misunderstand, I feel. Or, well, to misrepresent, rather. I know I did when reading through the five love languages for the first time; this one made me halt. Because it’s easy to think that this one’s greedy. Or super materialistic. A bit shallow. But it really isn’t.

Instead, it’s quite the opposite. What this love language means, is that you feel loved by the meaning behind a gift – not the gift itself. The little paper boat made out of a napkin your partner gifted you on your first date? Priceless. What’s important are the memories and the thought that went into them – not the price tag.

If this is your love language, you probably highly value giving meaningful gifts as well – and are disappointed if others gift you something that doesn’t hit the mark. Something unrelated or a gift just for the sake of it. But a keepsake or a token of an event? Invaluable. It’s your little treasury of things that make you feel loved.

What do you do if your partner has it?

If your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, make an effort to put thought into whatever you’re getting them. Know that it’s not about extravagance – in fact, this can backfire quite a bit, too. Instead, make sure that there is something personal connected to it; a memory, an event, something. Bonus points if it’s entirely self-made. They are more reminders than anything; reminders, that they are being thought of, that the people around them know them and something that aids them in looking back at important moments in their life or relationships.

Remember that this isn’t just on days where you’d normally exchange gifts, such as birthdays or the holidays – but an everyday thing. Maybe you could pick up their favourite snack on your way to them? Pick or buy some flowers? Leave a little letter on their bedside table before they wake up?

The fact, that this love language involves items doesn’t change the impact it’ll have. They are simply the messengers of “I was thinking about you when I saw this” for you. It’s all about sentiments. Don’t think about the size of the gifts, think about the relevancy.

[Picture by Kelly Sikkema – thank you!]